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No.
1
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You hear the unmistakable, terrifying sound of a baby gurgle. What's your first move?
Panic and run into the nearest wall.
Calmly assess the situation and look for a locked door.
Grab a bottle of poison and hope for the best... for you, of course.
Distract the baby with a shiny object, like a roll of toilet paper.
No.
2
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The baby has just discovered the oven. It's glowing red-hot. What do you do?
Scream and call for a fire department that doesn't exist.
Casually toss a few metal spoons inside to see what happens.
Turn off the oven and hope the baby doesn't notice.
Attempt to block the oven with a comically oversized armchair.
No.
3
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The baby is crawling towards the electrical outlet with a metal fork. You're out of time!
Yell NO! and hope the baby understands complex human language.
Throw a pillow at the baby to knock the fork out of its hand.
Trip the circuit breaker and plunge the house into darkness.
Hide in the closet and pretend you didn't see anything.
No.
4
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You've locked yourself in a room. The baby is trying to break in. What's your next genius plan?
Use a load of dirty laundry as a shield.
Attempt to communicate with the baby through the door, offering a treaty.
Brace the door with the washing machine.
Pray the baby gets distracted by a passing fly.
No.
5
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You're running low on health. The baby is chasing you with a blender. What's your last resort?
Drink from the toilet bowl. It's a risk, but it's something.
Find the first-aid kit, even if it's in the baby's secret lair.
Attempt a daring escape through the window.
Distract the baby by singing a lullaby.
No.
6
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The baby has found the cabinet with all the cleaning supplies. What's the biggest threat now?
The baby drinking the bleach.
The baby mixing random chemicals and creating a toxic gas.
The baby using a spray bottle as a weapon.
The baby using the Windex to clean the windows.
No.
7
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You've been cornered! The baby is holding a loaded gun and staring you down. What's your final act?
Surrender and accept your fate.
Attempt to disarm the baby by throwing a toy at them.
Beg for mercy, promising to buy them all the toys in the world.
Do a backflip out the window.
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